I Know, My Son
by henry923
Summary: A glimpse between mother and son. Following 2x18: Awake, Arise or Be Forever Fallen. One shot.


" **I Know, My Son"**

Written by: henry923

 _ **A glimpse of a moment between mother and son. Following 2x18 (Awake, Arise or Be Forever Fallen)**_

AN: I don't own Shadowhunters. This work is purely fiction.

Alec Lightwood stood in the hallway of the Institute for what seemed like hours. In reality, he would later be told, it had only been a few minutes before his mother pulled him out of his reverie.

The love of his life, Magnus Bane, had just reaffirmed what he already knew—they could not be together as the fate of the Downworld laid in the balance and his own betrayal was center stage. Alec knew in his heart that he should have told the truth. He should have immediately told Magnus that the Clave was without the Soul Sword; however, his pride and duty dictated his decision. The cost of his integrity was becoming too much to bear.

As his brother lay injured, recovering from a vicious assault by their latest enemy, Alec could not help but focus on his own relationship and the vicious assault he placed upon it through his lie.

"Alec?" His mother, Maryse, spoke to him as she placed her hand on his firm shoulder. He did not blink. He stood there; staring at the elevator doors that Magnus exited through. "Alec?"

He finally blinked and stared down at his mother. Her face softened by the day's long, draining events. "Are you okay?"

" _No. I am not okay,"_ Alec thought to himself. "I am fine," he answered, the words pronounced and harsher then he intended. She recoiled slightly.

"Talk to me," Maryse said gently. As a mother, she was not the greatest but she could recognize the pain her son was in. The same very pain she has experienced. _Heartbreak_.

"There is nothing to talk about," Alec muttered as he focused on keeping his brimming tears at bay.

Maryse did not move. She stood in front of her eldest child and stared up into his eyes. She was not a fool though recent events would say otherwise. She could see the tears at the brink of escape. She immediately could not remember the last time she saw her son cry. He was strong yet sensitive. He always had a vulnerability to him; however, his strong moral grounding often limited him in fully embracing it.

"Alec, I am your mother. You can talk to me," she implored, her hand rubbing his shoulder in a slight up-and-down motion. "I am here for you."

Alec glanced down at her. "Now you're here for me?" His disdain evident in his tone. He looked away from her quickly to avoid seeing the discomfort appear on her face. "Alec, I cannot make up for my mistakes in the past but I am here now. I can see you're upset."

There was something about the way she said it; a foreign tenderness he did not recognize that sparked something in him. He was even surprised to find that his tears were now streaming down his face. "He walked away, Mom. He walked away," Alec choked out as a sob overtook his body.

Never in twenty-odd years did Maryse reach for her child as she did now. She pulled him into a tight embrace. She could immediately feel his wet tears on her neck and shoulder as he continued to sob. She prayed that no one would come in the hallway at this exact moment. Not for her sake but for his.

"It has been an emotionally draining day, my son. It will be okay," she tried to comfort him. Even she was able to admit it was an odd feeling.

"I made a mistake," Alec whispered, pain and anguish apparent in his tone. "I thought I was doing the right thing?"

She pulled him away from her and held him away from her and looked into his eyes. Her eyes narrowed, "You always do the right thing. It is who you are."

He looked down. He was not so sure of himself. At least not in this moment.

"Since you were a little boy, you have striven to always make everyone proud of you. You are loyal, moral, and unyielding to a fault."

Alec continued to look down; his tears still streaming down his face.

"Alec, it is not easy to be a leader and leverage the needs of our people against those we love. You have done it so much more better than your father and I ever could have. You are selfless. You would rather sacrifice your own happiness to make others happy. That was evident when you were going to marry Lydia," Maryse implored her eldest child with reason.

"And look where that led me. You barely spoke to me for weeks," Alec reminded her. His words stinging.

"Alec, I made mistakes. I cannot say my opinions on the matter have changed but I will say that the happiness I saw in you, your family has seen in you, has been a defining characteristic of the relationship you have with Magnus Bane. In that moment, at your wedding, you made a decision. A decision that you felt you needed to make. You were loyal to yourself for once. And that makes me proud."

He looked at his mother and twisted his lips into a small smile. He could count on one hand how many times he has heard those words. "I want you to be proud. I want our family to be proud. It's all I have ever wanted," he said as he wiped the wetness from his eyes.

"You made a decision as a leader; Magnus did the same. You cannot fault him for that. Yes, you may have driven this wedge between you two but if you love him like you say you do, it will be enough to fix this."

"You and Dad loved each other, but you can't fix it?" Alec countered.

"Robert and I are different. You have yet to experience the things we have in our lives. And I pray to the Angel, that you never do. I love your father, I do. But things change," Maryse said, not wanting to dwell on her own pain.

"A lot has happened today. There is a lot of work that needs to be done. You will need to lead this Institute. You have to remember, we have to protect the Mundanes and the entire Shadow World from Valentine and Jonathan. That includes Magnus and the Downworld; you may not be formally aligned, but you care too much to leave them to fend on their own."

"I know, Mom. I feel a little broken right now," Alec admitted.

She grimaced slightly, "You are not broken. You are just experiencing what it means to be in love. Now go upstairs and meet with Isabelle, Jace and Clary and get that bastard who hurt our Max." It was an order.

Alec nodded his head and kissed her on the cheek and turned towards the elevator upstairs. He stopped halfway down the hall and turned to see her standing there looking him on as he went to perform his heavenly duties.

"Mom, I love you and thank you," he smiled.

Maryse smiled, "I know, my son."

End.


End file.
